None of us can escape the fact that the natural end of life is death. When we lose someone close to us it can be a major event in our own lives and whilst some people find ways of working through the shock of their experience, for others it can lead them into severe difficulties in recovering their engagement with living and loving once more.
Grief is a natural response to the loss of those we have bonded closely with. It manifests differently for each of us, though it can feel all-encompassing, affecting us cognitively, emotionally, physically, psychologically, spiritually and socially.
When we grieve we are bereaved: in the Old English origin of the word, we have been ‘deprived of’, we are bereft. Mourning is what we do, for which we have the important social ritual of funerals and gatherings to acknowledge our loss.
Sometimes once remembrance rituals are over and the ripples of care and support we may have received from others have subsided, a mourner can feel most isolated and even under pressure from others to ‘move on’ from their grief. Many report this sudden slump in their life around 6-8 weeks after a death. In other cases the circumstances of grief might be complicated by the fact of having had a difficult or deeply unresolved relationship with the person who has died. It is also the case that we can begin to grieve well before an anticipated event so that we are in the midst of grief before a loss has been fully realised. There are significant numbers of people who look for extra support in their grief.
If you are having difficulty with grieving, please get in touch with me. Bereavement counselling provides a space with someone you can talk openly with, someone not connected with your family or friends, who is trained to listen to the often difficult thoughts you may be having and accept whatever feelings you are experiencing.
Many find that being able to talk and be heard over a period of several weeks is enough to bring some relief and a changed perspective. If other difficulties emerge we can decide on the most appropriate way to work that is most supportive of your wellbeing.