All relationships go through phases and sometimes this can include discomforting times, painful disagreements about fundamental choices, or even the experience of a major rupture between you. Sudden relational ruptures especially can leave us confused with painful feelings like resentment, guilt, anger or fear. Such confusion and strength of feeling can make any couple, whether life partners, family members or previously close friends believe that continuing with each other could even be impossible.
Couples counselling provides a safe and contained space for people who are struggling to be with each other to solve their problems and reconnect through healthier ways of being together. In order to do this a counsellor will bring the focus on to the dynamics of the relationship itself.
One of the commonest aspects of a faltering close relationship, often outside our awareness, is when we seek to protect ourselves through becoming critical, defensive in our communications or even withdrawing from contact. In this way, sometimes our closest relationships can feel painfully closed to us. Many couples left to work things out by themselves often find it hard to break a cycle of disconnection. The stress involved can only increase if the needs of others are affected by the relationship or if financial stability is also at stake.
If you seek couples work with me, you can expect it to be a time for you to be heard and for you to be supported to hear the other person. A focused sequence of weekly sessions can improve communication between you, support you to face the problems you are sharing and identify new ways of being together.
It can be especially daunting to take the first step to attend counselling, but if you feel your relationship is stuck and you can both agree to attend a first session, you will be taking a first step towards change.
